The Ant and the Grasshopper.
ORIGINAL VERSION:
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MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying in supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to
know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next
to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when
they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the news
stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has
the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten
rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit
against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of Federal judges that
Bill had appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant
loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has
disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now
abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
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